I've been waiting for this moment, finally im alone and in a short time im at peace. Nobody is home, i just arrived from work, i ate and sit in front of the computer. Its been a wnile since i last updated this blog. No, nothing bothers me. Im just having this attitude lately that i don't understand. Im not busy, either. I have many things in my mind but i can't put it into words.
I'm having some difficulty of expressing my feelings the past week or maybe im just really STRESSED. Work, home, things and things around me. Just the past days im getting lost again. I don't know what and where is my road will lead me, will bring me and which road to choose. I lost my direction going to the place i wanted. i just don't know where to go. I need a break and i need some time to reflect and think of what is going on right now.
I have different stories everyday, things that maybe happening normally to other people too. It all started last week when i got pissed with my mom.(i guess this is normal) I just want to share it anyway, because up to now i dont understand what she wants me to do. This is my life and i have the right to do what i want. Yes, they are my parents they also have the right to say whatever they want too but not to dictate me and tell me exactly this is what they want for me. No, im not gonna argue again about those things im tired of it. So, i will just keep silent and let them "blah...blah...blah..."
Hopes...hopes...im loosing them day by day. But still, im here. So, i think im not! It's all in my mind. Im giving up, because i dont know what to think and do about with my other problems concerning with big things in my life. I was hoping that after waiting for some months my legitimations papers will be okay. Actually it got worst. I can't have them, papi will not have the authority to do it at the moment. The lawyer here told me to do it in the Philippines because it concerns about the Family code chuva..chuva. wehhh! I dont know! So, just thinking about it gives me big headache and all i can do is breathe hard and say "hayyyyy...is there somebody who can help me?(with my face looking up there and waiting for a miracle)". Im just getting confused what to do. But as what yana have said "things have its own reasons, meaning it will happen in the right time and right place whatever is the situation."
On the other hand, things are doing good. For the mean time, i think its all balance but who knows? I just go out and try to enjoy my day as much as possible. Think positive, stay calm(as possible as i can), eat and sleep, go out and chill. Ahhh! thats how life is! We need to enjoy and live it to the fullest as what they say. Inspite of the ups and downs. The world never stops on turning. Gah! easier said than done ha!
Oh, christmas is on its way and nobody can stop it.haha! I just noticed and think that in a month and so ill be turning 26.hehe! Thank you guys for visiting. I'll hop on your pages soon. For sure gonna update my other sites too.hehe!
Take care guys! have a fun friday and a great weekend ahead! mwahugs.
It's already midnyt to be exact. My mind says: "come on, update your blog. write something." Oh gosh! its been a while. Its true that i need to blab something new here, something interesting. But why do i always feel like this? I always wanted to write something but i just can't when im infront of the computer. I guess this really happens to some bloggers who used to write. It is an unexplainable feeling. I hope time passes and this feeling as well.
So, whats up with me? Nothing really big.haha! I just cant explain what i really feel for the mean time. It's a bit of everything. I think too much the past days, then in general im feeling depressed, frustrated, pissed & confused. Oh, did i say im feeling bad? hehe. Something wierd is happening and things is not working the way im expecting it. But what can i do? deal...deal...deal with it.
Im trying to transfer my files to my new external harddisk because i have to give to my papi the older one. I'm not expecting that it will take like 3hours for just some 20GB of files transfering to another. Is my computer slow? or the files is just really heavy? dont have any idea about it.
Of course, now im starting to get random again. Oh well, nothing is new with that.haha! WOuld you believe, i've drank 3 cups of espresso coffee in a half day. (just shows im a coffee addict, it's irresistable.) The first was after eating my late lunch then another one at around 8pm. Unexpected guest came in at around 9pm so i have to prepare some coffee again. Like what i said it's irresistable, i dont like to have another cup of coffee but i still did it.
Too much caffeine today and like what they always say coffee will not make you sleep. Instead, after the guest left i just lay my back on my bed for a while and "ZzzzZZZZzzzz....".haha! I guess i got high with coffee.lolz. Didn't even know what happened on the thing that i was doing. When i woke up, my laptop was off. I don't know what happened maybe my harddisk is working too much, it got hot and turned off automatically like it used too. Oh well...
Inspite of what is happening i can still say im okay. For now, i just can't focus on other things. Im kindah disappointed with what happened on something that im expecting about. It's like when it comes to serious things, i never fail to have those "shits" happening. But then just like a friend says: "things happens with a purpose and its always have a reason. Meaning there is always a better one coming.". I hope for the better.=)
Now, i dont know what else to say.haha! I'm starting to feel lazy again. My brain has something inside but i just can't let it out.waaahhhh!!! what is wrong with me?
For the time being, im enjoying of going out and hanging out with somebody. I have met somebody else along the way and not everything has always a good result.wehehe. I'm kindah sorry on what happened the last time i met someone but then why do i need to pretend? this is me, im just being me because that is how i really feel. As well as to avoid acting rude.
Change...another topic, another story, what else? say something more..more..haha! I like it when my friend Astrid visit my page and and leave a tag "Ate!!!!! update na." It's really cute.haha. I just find it so sweet and i don't know why.
So, time for me to go. My brain cells are starting to freeze again. Speaking of freeze, gosh! its starting to get cold here. Anyway, no matter what we do and say it is already autumn and winter is on its way. So, useless to talk and blah..blah..blah. Time for snow..snow...snow..again. weeee!
Oh, now my bed is calling me.haha! I better go now. Thanks for visiting my blog eventhough im not updating it often like i used too. Thanks guys! I'll hop on your pages as soon as possible. Hope it will not take me years to do that. haha! *crossing my fingers* Enjoy the rest of the week guys. I miss yah all. Love yah.mwahugs.