Sunday, March 11, 2007
Up to my second post for the day. I've seen a friend yesterday morning on my way to work. We exchange blahs..blahs...and blahs. Then she ended up asking me something that made me think and made me come back from the past year. Damn! it really hit me, i almost cried though.
The past year was a real blast for me. It is all mixed up with lots of emotions and happenings that made me think along the way. Happiness, sorrows, pains, insults, lots and lots of problems, breakups?!, friends, depression, l♥ve and the likes.
It was hard but then i was happy, because i was able to go through with them and had passed every trial and obstacles that i have had in the way. Many times i have intended to give up but then I was strong and have thought of moving on.
I remembered late last year when i started blogging. I never knew how it was, all i know is that i will write and tell stories on my posts. I never knew it was a big, big world where you will meet lots of people and lots of friends. I have learned a lot, from doing the layouts, the words that most of the bloggista's used to say and use, the expressions, i've known some of the genius persons, lots of funny & touching posts, and most of all the 'REAL' persons. Through their words you can say they are true and thier very touching words that will always wake you up and help you to get through on whatever your feeling. They always give you hope, love and wisdom. They never let you down and will always appreciate everything in you. They never 'JUDGE' you. They will love you for who you are and what you are.
I have gained a lot and have lost some. But i know this happens with purpose. It means that something is wrong and some of this are things that i don't deserve. Then the 'Expect the unexpected' thingy will came along the way. I never expected that i will lost a friend-ship relation-ship. I have tried to understand and think of the best reasons on what to do and how to repair but then it was broken. Never had the time to talk and clear things out. It remained just broken. I don't know what happened, i don't understand but somehow and someday it will find its way to be understood. 'Life is full of surprises'.
Then another one came along. I never talked about it, never revealed anything about it. I don't want to get affected. I just let things happened the way it is. Because maybe untill now i'm afraid to face the reality, which is just right in my face. "hey, wake up! open your eyes and your mind." But i know i'm getting close with it and the more i live each day the more im getting scared. "NO! im not afraid, i know i'm brave enough." It is just a matter of expressing what i have here inside of me and i'm not afraid to let other people know about it. I will fight and i will stand up in the battle even without any weapon. Because i know there will always be somebody who will always be there to help and carry me when i got wounded once again.
Feelings that was left unsaid, many things have left undone and many questions have left unanswered. Life was really hard to deal. Living each day was like a journey from rocky mountains, rapids on the river and just walking on a plain street on the city. And the truth is you have to learn and understand what are the best ways when your on a certain scenario. It will be harder and harder but in time, experiences will leave marks and will teach you. It will guide you no matter how bad it was.
Sometimes i'd rather keep silent and hide myself. I don't want others to know about how i feel because they might misunderstood me. Everybody is not willing to put their feet on your place. Somehow, i understand. But sometimes i think, why is it always the worst things always happens to me? still it will remain a big question and will be left unanswered.
I remember arianne saying "it is the balance of nature". You will not be experiencing the same thing all of your life. There will be ups and downs. Happiness and sadness. The sun will shine but darkness will always arrive. It will rain hard and destroy everything in you. But then another tomorrow is waiting. Another day will pass and will give you hopes and dreams.
I don't want to be left behind. I know i should move on. Face everything with lots of courage. Go on and walk through that dark streets. I know time will come all things that i desire will be reachable. I will not stop, i will not give up but then i will continue to have hope. I'll keep on dreaming...
Of course, i can't promise that i will always be that strong like i used too but then i will try my very best. I will never stop thanking all the people who always help me in times like these. And of course, i will never also stop from giving you my shoulder to lean on and my ears to listen. I will always be here...anytime.
Have a great week ahead guys! take care...love y'all.mwahugs♥♥♥
Y Make me yours tonight, let me die in your arms;
5:34 PM
5:34 PM
